The Case for Homemaking - 7 Reasons I Love Being a Homemaker
Being a homemaker, even without kids, is surprisingly both rewarding and fulfilling!
Growing up, I felt like I’d be useless if I wasn’t successful in a career. Yet I often wonder now about where we are taking our future as a society. Why do we think it’s liberating to encourage young women to work toward a high-demand career? Why don’t we change our idea of what we “need” to accommodate a lifestyle that allows young wives to be home?
I’m grateful for the jobs I’ve had and what I’ve learned from them. But I started to realize I didn’t know much about running a home. And I think that’s true for a lot of us. Women, in theory, learn from their mothers. But when our mothers were taught to focus on being successful in business, and us all the more, how much will we be able to teach our daughters?
Honestly, it’s a lot to learn and hard to balance - wanting to take care of your home and family, eat and live in healthy ways, invest in your dreams and all the while stay on budget. But I’d like to posit that it’s at least worth trying. So I’m sharing some reasons why I love being a homemaker.
1. Our Family’s Overall Health Has Improved Immensely
I won’t say it’s impossible, but I struggled balancing an invested career and keeping healthy habits. Working full-time, attempting to make meals at home and trying to take care of chores, I always felt tired, low energy, stressed and distracted. Throughout the day I just shoved coffee and sugar in my face for energy. After I left my job and had time to notice my state of mind, I realized I had trouble focusing, adrenal fatigue and chronic exhaustion. Combined with trouble getting pregnant, I knew it was time for a change.
Now that my job is taking care of my husband and our home (and because I have time), I cook meals from scratch. That means we go out to eat so much less, which saves us money and lets us choose the ingredients we use.
I also carve out time to research ways to be healthier. My caffeine intake went way down. We drink lots of tea, use essential oils and take supplements that fit our needs. I almost never eat refined sugar (I’m working up the discipline to cut it out completely). My husband and I both see the difference in our overall health since I started homemaking.
2. We Can Start Good Habits Before Having Kids
When my husband and I decided for me to stay home, I started doing research about being a homemaker. In truth, it was a little difficult to find many women talking about being a homemaker without having kids. I wondered, “Can I be a homemaker if we don’t have children?” and even, “Am I lazy if I choose to be a homemaker without children?”
After I left my job, we even started trying to get pregnant. Turns out, we were in for more of a journey than we realized. So here I am, about 8 months later, still a homemaker and still without any sign of having kids. God willing, we will have children in our home in the future. Yes, honestly, it’s very discouraging to still not be pregnant. But I’ve realized I am so grateful for the time I’ve had to learn about our habits, health, routines and study of Scripture before starting a family. I know I’ll be that much more equipped to be a good mother when and if the time comes!
Even if you don’t plan on having kids any time soon, I still think being a homemaker provides an excellent opportunity to cultivate a loving, peaceful and comfortable home.
3. My Husband and I Started to Grow a Stronger Marriage
Thankfully, my husband and I have grown a lot since we got married. A big part of that comes from digging into God’s word, praying for our hearts to change and humbly admitting when we’re wrong and asking for forgiveness. I can say with confidence that we’ve grown an even stronger bond, much faster, since I started homemaking.
When both partners are working full-time, it’s hard for either person to have the energy to be patient or serve the other. Not saying it isn’t possible, but since I’ve stayed home there are less things to worry about when he is home. Instead of both of us scrambling to do chores, we get to focus on each other. And I’m less snappy with him because I’m less stressed. I’d love to be like Jesus, totally sanctified and perfect, but I know I’m not, not physically in this day-to-day life at least. It was much harder to be kind, loving and patient when I constantly felt on edge. That goes for my husband, too - it’s much easier for him to be patient and loving with me when I am that way for him.
4. Our Days Run More Smoothly
My husband and I are at the point now where our days run like clockwork. I have smoothies prepped the night before for breakfast the next day. We have the kettle filled for coffee. I have things prepped for making his lunch in the morning. So we wake up, make coffee and blend smoothies and spend some time together. Then my husband gets to work on his projects before he leaves for work.
I get to have time to read or study, then I make (or just assemble) his lunch. When he comes home, we often have a snack together and visit. Then he gets a little more time for his projects while I make dinner. I often make enough to have leftovers for easy lunches or dinners later in the week.
When we have guests, we’re usually not scrambling to clean the house like we used to. Our dog, Tamar, doesn’t have a bout of fitful energy late in the afternoon like she did because she’s getting enough exercise and mental activity.
And, we can allow time for spontaneity because we don’t feel pressured to get chores done.
It took a little time to get here. I basically started with a strict task list and schedule to develop routine habits. It was tough, but since then I’ve found the pulse of making our home and can find ways to be flexible.
Want some help finding your routine?
Get a Free PDF Download of the Homemaker’s Task List as a bonus download when you join “The C”!
You can see how often I like to do each task. You can still adjust as needed, depending on your season of life.
This guide will help you get started and figure out what works for you!
5. It’s Actually Easier to Stay on Budget
There’s no getting around it - your household income is going to go down, at least at first. But I have more time to review and update the budget, keep track of purchases and cultivate habits for spending less.
As you’re getting used to the new budget, I recommend deleting promotional emails before reading them and staying away from the online version of window shopping. For more ideas on staying on budget as a homemaker, check out my 7 Tips for Staying on Budget post.
6. More Time to Focus on Our Goals Outside of Work
I mentioned earlier that my husband works on his projects in the morning and afternoon while I prepare meals. This has been a great use of time for us - he gets to focus on his dreams and goals while I’m doing things I’m normally doing anyway. Some of you may be asking, “What about your goals?”
Well, if you’re reading this post then you are experiencing the outworking of that. Since I’m left to myself through the day, I get to choose how I spend my time! One of my goals is sharing things I’ve learned and love - like homemaking! I also get to spend time learning about dreams we have, like gardening and homesteading.
Another goal is to make and release music. My husband also takes time to prioritize my goals, as I do for him. He makes sure he leaves time to work on music together. Again, the beauty of me having time to take care of things around the house is that we have more time to do what we want when both of us are home together.
7. I Feel I Am Doing What God Has Called Me to Do
In Titus Chapter 2, Paul encourages Titus to teach that “the older women…admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus:3-4 NKJV).1
I know the string of arguments that exist against the concept of women staying at home and being obedient to their husbands. I used to make those arguments myself. Many women have eloquently spoken in regard to this, and I don’t feel a need to dive in myself. But I can say that now, as someone who defiantly rejected those principles in the past, I see the fruit and wisdom in applying this way of life. I don’t feel restricted, caged or diminutive. In fact, I feel more freedom, more fulfillment and more opportunity to do the things I love. It’s like I’ve finally accepted a true part of myself that I had locked in a dark closet. God is not cruel, sexist or spiteful. He made creation, He knows how it works best. I keep learning the more I stop resisting His ways the more I live in peace and rest.
I want everyone reading to know I’m not demanding every woman be a homemaker. That is not my place. I want to give a glimpse into how it’s changed my life. And I’m sharing why I love being a homemaker (even without kids) with hopes it inspires you to think about what you love, why you love it and how you can get there.
Looking for more tips & recipes for homemaking? Check out other posts here!
References:
Radmacher, Earl D., et al. The Nelson Study Bible: New King James Version. T. Nelson Publishers, 1997.
